Right now I'm just kind of waiting for my sleeping pills to kick in so I thought I'd write a post. This week was a mess. I hate school, I dont even know why I tried to go back. I mean who am I kidding? I'll never pass. And forget dating. I still miss Jake, even though he's probably forgotten about me. I dont see him online even, and he always used to be online. I was thinking about sending him an email, but what would I say? I miss you? Of course I do. I miss being able to talk to him at the end of my day, I miss laughing with him, I miss hearing him say 'I love you', even though I'm not sure he ment it twards the end. Dont get me wrong, I know he ment it, sometimes. Its just so hard, I dont know what to do. I feel like I'm falling appart slowly right now and I dont know how to stop it. I've tried everything to forget about it, joined IMVU, I do all my homework like IMMEDIATELY and still I have free time. I got so much more to do on Odesey, but I dont want to work on that all the time. Well, maybe I should. I dont know.

I even lost the MP3 player that he gave me. It was sitting on my desk and now it's gone. I dont know where it went, I tore everything appart. Im going to look again, because I plan on sending it back. If i dont find it tomorrow, then I guess I'll have to send him an e-mail. And get a new one, because I NEED one for when I have my dentist appointment and now that they're allowed in school I want to take it with me. I dont know. I just feel so lost. *sigh*